Your words

Your words are like a tether. I woke up this morning to my quiet feed ringing feverishly. I thought to myself, Eden. It must’ve been. And sure enough I logged onto her beautiful blog like I’ve done so many times in the last seven years and sobbed through the entire thing.

I can’t respond to every post right now and sometimes they will be awaiting moderation know that I’m reading every single one. And I do feel buoyed by it. For a while I lost faith in words which is a terrible thing for a writer

Willi responded to his parents voice this morning. Moving his hands lightly as if sunk in a deep deep dream

I gave up prayer along time ago at least the kind that’s recognized by most people. I pray in the woods, and beautiful places. I try to meditate on kindness. But in these last few days I have found myself like a small child praying to God of my childhood… Hands clasped, now I lay me down, Hail Mary. I called on my long dead father to watch over us. Him his presence disappeared quickly after the birth of my daughter– when, I supposed he knew my heart was full and that I had healed..

9 responses

  1. Just back from Eden’s blog, holy cow how did that boy get so big? One of my friends jumped out of a moving car during an argument with her boyfriend, about 20 years ago. She had a head injury and was in a coma for awhile. Now she is a professor of international studies in London, complete and full recovery. Bathing W and all of you in light, and love, and hope.

  2. Ohmigosh, somehow I still pictured W as a young boy but he’s a strapping young man – he’s a fighter, Pam, he is strong! And so are you, never doubt it. All prayer is intention, unyielding, focused on harnessing an energy we cannot see but exists whether we believe it or not. Kinda like gravity. Never lose faith in your words, Pam, they link people together.

  3. Oh I’m so glad to find you again, but I’m so sorry that it is under these circumstances.

    I don’t pray, but I will send you and your family a million good thoughts. Hope comes in the morning… But having walked through the valley of the shadow myself (albeit for different situations), I know that there are no words right now that will ease the pain, and sorrow, and the questions… But they will give a spark that will set fire when you will need the most. Carry on, keep fighting and living and loving. Always. xx

    Your blog and your words have stuck with me for many a year…. And gave me a spark in the midst of my own awful reality. So thank you. Xx

  4. Just come from Edenland. Please know that I am thinking of you all and sending all possible good thoughts and prayers your way.

    Lisa x

  5. Dear Pam,

    Thinking of you so deeply. And I’m still sending my prayers and wishes your way for the healing of your beautiful stepson. Xxxxxooooo love Rex.

  6. What a beautiful post that was, and what a wonderful friend Eden is. Isn’t it remarkable how closely blogs bind us to others who might as well be on the moon as far as locations go? You and Will have a ton of people both here and abroad rooting for his full recovery. I’m so glad to hear there have been good signs. You haven’t been out of my thoughts and prayers.

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